In Ephesians chapter 5, there is a misunderstanding about the relationship between verses 21 and 22.

Ephesians 5:21

submitting to one another in the fear of God.

This is the end of a sentence at the end of a paragraph. In this verse, Paul is talking about submission amongst the members of the congregation and is not dealing specifically about marriage. That will come in the next verse which is part of the next paragraph.

What Paul is saying is that all of us submit to one another in some way, and then he goes on to give three examples of what that submission looks like!

Verse 5:22 through the end of the chapter is wives submitting to their husbands (not all men, but just their own husbands).

Verse 6:1 and following is children submitting to their parents in the Lord.

And starting in verse 6:5-9 we have slave to master submission, which can easily apply to obeying your employer as an employee.

Ephesians 5:21 does not modify verse 22. Rather, verse 22 is the initial example of what biblical submission looks like! The level of submission by a husband to his wife is no higher than that which love requires between all Christians! We need to stop using verse 21 to soften verse 22 or make it more palatable to postmodern sensitivities!